oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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