what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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