i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You ate ashes out of my bong
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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