I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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