I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
