aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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