At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
