i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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