I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
