I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
