Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i think i have two assholes
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
