and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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