Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Porn is love you can see.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
