did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
