can we get nightvision for the apartment?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
you never un-have a 4some
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
