I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
