He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
