Tell her she can't have a vagina
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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