Non-Jews are for practice
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My life is pants optional.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
