You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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