At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
