My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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