I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
