i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
