Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
