quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
