So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
