could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
