I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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