booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
