I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
