3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
