Jerry, you need to find god
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
