walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Sorry my hands just texted you
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
