would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
