i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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