WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
