worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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