My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
