just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
