I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
