Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
