using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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