she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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