Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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