Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
