Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Randomize
