Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
