Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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