I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
