Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
