Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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