How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
