Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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