she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
