Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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