Got a toothbrush?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize