Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He told me they were just razor bumps!
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
